Since were feeling so anesthetized
In our comfort zone
Reminds me of the second time
That I followed you home
We're running out of alibi's
On the second of May
Reminds me of the summertime
On this winters day
You showered me with lullabies
As you're walking away
Reminds me that it's killing time
On this fateful day
See you at the bitter end
Oscar ruined himself both financially and socially for Lord Alfred. He spent a great deal of money on dinner and hotels to entertain his lover, and started to openly ignore his wife, Constance. Society began to talk. Lord Alfred's father, Queensbury, ordered his son to sever all contact with Wilde, but Alfred refused. The two indulged in passions until legal action was forced. The Marquess of Queensberry publically called Oscar a homosexual and insinuated that he had seduced his son and brought him into the lifestyle. Oscar sued him for libel, assuming that there would be insufficient proof of his supposed homosexuality. He was wrong.
Oscar Wilde was sentenced to two years' hard labor, and during that time Oscar composed one of his greatest works, De Profundis.Oscar was forced to confront his demons throughout his two year sentence, and when he emerged from Reading gaol, he went into exile, dying only three years later.
This song symbolizes the day that Oscar realized the consequences of seeking only pleasure. It was the bitter end of Oscar Wilde. He had ruined his reputation, while that of Lord Alfred would remain partially intact, and he would spend his two years in Reading gaol writing De Profundis to try and make sense of the world he now found himself in. Written partially as a letter to Douglas and partially as a way for Oscar to make sense of religion, the demon that had haunted him his whole life, De Profundis is considered to be one of Oscar Wilde's greatest works. Angry, half-mad, and desperate, he found peace through the writing. "And at the end of it all is that I have to forgive you. I must do so. I don't write this letter to put bitterness into your heart, but to pluck it out of mine," he wrote to Lord Alfred (Pearce, 257).
If anyone--namely Constance, still flitting on the sidelines of Oscar's life--had hoped that his two years of hard labor would change him, they were wrong. Oscar met up with his lover when he got out of prison. For a time, the two continued their relationship, but it was not to be. The two parted ways in 1897.
Angels on the Moon
Don't tell me if I'm dying, because I don't want to know
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go
Don't wake me because I'm dreaming of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know never leaves too soon
Oscar Wilde had been out of Reading gaol for three years. He lived in Paris, France, and a great deal of his friends had died or abandoned him. He was a social pariah when once he had been society's king. During the last three years of his life he had written only one thing, The Ballad of Reading Gaol. This song is slow and soft, and it brings to mind the dreams one always has for tomorrow. It is a hopeful nostalgic song, if you will pardon the oxymoron there; it is an acceptance of death.
The song starts off with the words, "Do you dream that the world will know your name?" This reminded me of Oscar for, shortly before he died, he said, "My time is short-my work is done-and when I cease to live, that work will begin to live. Ah! my work will live as long as men live to read it; my work will be my great monument." (Pearce, 287). The song goes on to talk about the value in living and feeling the sunlight, even if it causes pain. Oscar, who lived for pleasure, lived to feel the sting of excess pleasure--the sunburn, if you will. Now that he is dying, Oscar finds death pleasurable and looks forward to joining the angels on the moon.
Conclusion
Oscar Wilde was a talented writer and a public speaking genius. Yet despite all of this, he never seemed to know when to leave well enough alone. He lived in self-imposed exile from Ireland, the country of his birth, lamenting later that he had ruined the great and noble name of Wilde through his actions. He purposefully alienated himself from the good graces of his wife, which would haunt him forever, as he would be forbidden to see his two sons after his imprisonment.
For me, it seems that Oscar was too brilliant for his time. Unable to be interested in sports or women, he could only play at it. His heart was never in it, however. Like Hemingway pretending to have been a great football player, Wilde pretended at being "respectable" but found it, as most geniuses do, to be boring. This was where he fell. By allowing himself to be caught up by his passions, he lived to taste the bitterness of regret. Always an exile because of his thoughts and personality, Oscar was physically exiled as well. Death was probably a release for Oscar. His fall from grace and two years in Reading gaol changed him from a buoyant and happy person to a tired and sickly individual.
The songs on this playlist, in some way or another, connect with the idea of loss, bitterness, exile and the pursuit of passion no matter the cost. They represent Oscar's struggle with religion and respectability, normalcy and the nature of sin. But no matter the trials Wilde went through, his work lives on to inspire generation after generation. It is hard to believe it has been a century since his passing.
Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde died on November 30, 1900. He was only forty-six.
Ellmann, Richard. (1987). Oscar Wilde.New York, NY: Alfred A. Knopf.
Pearce, Joseph. (2000). The Unmasking of Oscar Wilde. London, England: HarperCollins.
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